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Saturday, March 06, 2010


Recently, an Internet friend of mine passed away while on vacation in Hawaii. I had never met him, but had the pleasure of a number of online chats with him and his girlfriend, as well as the odd e-mail or two. To describe him as a "free spirit" would be akin to saying Rupaul is "ever so slightly effeminate". His Facebook status constantly made me think that perhaps I wasn't quite making as much of an effort as I should to see the world, experience its wonders, and marvel at creation in general and that I was- in fact- a lame-ass peon servant to a very Arthur Dent-ish existence (prior to the arrival of the Vogons, of course). It was only fitting then, that he should leave this world in one of the most fantastic looking places on Earth, doing something he loved.

Being the free spirit that he was, our topics of conversation ran the gamut of all we felt was important to discuss. Sex obviously came up. A virgin at the time, I was willing to receive some advice as I was soon intending to make a few changes in the hymen department, as it were, with the man who would later become my husband. He told me one of his favorite things was for his partner to do, and I took that advice, stored it somewhere in my mess of a memory bank and left it there untouched for a little while. When I finally remembered it, my man was rather pleased. So was I. I've been doing it ever since.

After my friend died, it was rather depressing to no longer see Facebook statuses such as "motorcycling here", "traveling there" and even more depressing to see the posts of those who knew him better, lamenting his brief 41 years on this planet and the regrets and the haunted memories and restless dreams... But then one night, I was making love to my husband. And I did that thing. And I smiled. In fact, I couldn't stop smiling.

He would have been proud to have left behind a legacy such as this.

If only we could put all these parts of a person that we each receive together to make that person whole again.


Anonymous said...

sounds like a sweet movie that could be made
I do however think all those online legacies are a bit creepy... what are you supposed to do when facebook reminds you that you have not spoken to such or such friend in a long time and that you should write on their wall

Anonymous said...

Thanks for that. It was quite touching. And a sweet reminder that real significance can occur through the wonders of electronic friendship.

Bdubba said...

Very nice post and so true but I want to know what "the trick" is so you can continue to let his legacy live on and multiply. :)

Bliss said...

So bitter sweet.. i second Bdubba.. id love to know what the trick is :)

TeacherLady said...

Melicieuse, that is exactly what happened. It sparked a horde of posts to his wall by all those who felt compelled to take up Facebook's suggestion to say hi to a friend who hadn't been active for a while.

Janson, thanks for commenting. I was hoping the post would come across with more sentiment than smut to my readers! I can do smut, and this ain't it!

Bdubba and Bliss, I didn't want to detract from the sentiment with the details, and it's probably something you've already done but being a virgin at the time it hadn't occurred to me at all! It's simply to squeeze tightly as your partner draws back/pulls out each time. Get those kegels going, ladies! My friend said he liked it because besides the physical stimulation he received, it made him feel that she wanted to keep him exactly where he was.

It's just a little thing, nothing elaborate or kinky, but it is lovely.

Rhonda Lynn Mae Stuttback said...

Your husband must love you very much.

TeacherLady said...

Rhonda, he must do... To put up with me the way he does!