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Monday, September 21, 2009

When Adults FAIL.


I’m noticing a pattern here. While I don’t mean to remove all responsibility from the hands of the kids, I have to take a look at the adults for a moment. In most messed up kids’ pasts or presents, you can usually identify some adult/s who has/have failed them. Those who were victims of abuse or neglect, those whose teachers gave up on them, those who were punished more than taught, and those whose school psychologists suck copious amounts of ass on a regular basis. I also point an accusing finger at the system that allows students to graduate high school thinking they can continue to behave the way they did all throughout their educational career because they were never sufficiently taught to do otherwise. We’re not being kind by doing that, we’re destroying them.

I was doing my best not to bitch about my colleagues, because Flying Spaghetti Monster knows I’m not perfect, but when certain lines are crossed- whereby an adult actively harms the best interests of the kids- I have very little patience or tolerance.

So let’s take into consideration our school psychologist. The man who took a whole year to identify a kid I was helping as having special needs, and when he finally did “test” the kid, he asked me which label we might want to go with, as though we could arbitrarily pull one out of one of our collective orifices. I know he doesn’t have a freaking clue how to do his job, so I pointedly responded with “Well, what did your TESTING say…?” I would have asked to see his documentation, but I probably would have had a hard time reading his handwriting with it being written in crayon and all.

Said “psychologist” has reached new heights of detriment to our students. There is a girl who showed obvious signs of having major mental and emotional concerns and a fellow colleague took two hours to convince the mother of the need for assessment. She finally agreed. The psychologist then had to be included in the follow-up meeting as it is HIS JOB to get the ball rolling with assessments and collection of data etc. He decides to try to flex his impotent muscles by sucking air through his teeth and saying it might be a bit early to jump to the conclusion that she needs help. The mother leapt onto this and agreed that she always just felt her child was just a bit emotional, and that there was nothing out of the ordinary about her behaviors.

This is how he does his job: By avoiding it. Sometimes, I think the effort he puts into avoiding certain aspects of it seems more time consuming than actually doing them. He has failed that child to a monumental degree and he is so self-absorbed and narcissistic that he doesn’t see how damaging his laziness is. That girl’s needs will not be formally identified, she will be misunderstood, she will get herself into trouble both in relationships and with the law, and she will undoubtedly be an unstable mother some day and probably pass on her misunderstood mental instability onto her kids either through their upbringing and/or her genes. By not knowing her own problems, she won’t be able to understand and help those of her own kids either. He may not be the sole reason her future is as bleak as it will probably be, but he is a CONTRIBUTOR to it.

There are far more horrific stories that I don’t care to go in to in which adults fail kids to monumental degrees, but it’s horrifying me to realize that the bad guys aren’t always the more obvious ones such as the child rapists or the parents who beat their children… They come in the form of people whose jobs are to help these kids, but instead fall short through poor qualifications, apathy, laziness, and/or simple mistake, and even ones who are malicious in their intents and it gives these poor kids even less of a chance of climbing out of the black holes known as their “futures”.

1 comment:

7aki Fadi said...

Usually it's the parents job to be a strong advocate for their kids. Insisting on getting help and plwoing through all the bullshit people, fighting for those kids.

The sad thing is that they were failed by the parents before anybody else failed them.