In science class today, the teacher was lecturing on safety procedures as they're about to start doing labs in class. One of my students (The Black Goth Kid) is prone to making outrageous remarks or questions just to get attention (ie. "Can we blow things up?", "Can we cut open dead bodies?") throughout the poor teacher's lectures, and today was no different. He asked if he could stick a pipette in his mouth, or something stupid like that, to which the science teacher responded:
"I should hope none of you guys stick my equipment in your mouths"
His facial expression then went through that well-known sequence known to all teachers... First, confidence with the innocent intention behind the start of the sentence, then startled hesitation, then determination to continue with the sentence because you've already got 95% of it out of your mouth and if you stop now you'll make your double-entendre even more obvious, then the reluctant smile as you realize, hey, it's kinda funny. It just so happened that, in my boredom, I was daydreaming about that very behavior (with my husband) and so was doubly startled at the sudden irrational fear that my thoughts had been found out, and so I struggled to hold back one of those snorting laughs that happens at the back of your nose and throat but failed to silence it completely. The teacher and I made that fatal eye contact and he tried to turn his laugh into a cough and I tried to look really intently and seriously at the paperwork in front of me and strangle the laugh out of me as silently as possible.
What really confused me was that NOT ONE KID LAUGHED. My guess is they were all asleep, because otherwise they would have leaped on that one like wolves on a three-legged rabbit.
I really need to work on the maturity thing, because one day I'll shout out "That's what he said!" at a job interview or funeral or something and have to migrate to yet another country to avoid yet more embarrassment. Hey, why do you think I moved to the States in the first place?