Disclaimer: Some content is inappropriate for readers under 18 years of age or those offended by swear words, references to sexuality, atheism, and libertarianism.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Quote of the Week

My science teacher told me about a student he was forced to write up for making inappropriate comments out loud. This week, the student asked another student why he had a sprained wrist and then answered his own question with:

"Were you jerking off without lotion again?"

I asked my colleague how he managed to handle that without at least smiling. I struggle not to when they start up with the "yo momma" comments amongst themselves. One day, my history teacher asked the kids if they had done their home work. One student turned to another and whispered quietly "I didn't do my homework last night, but I did yo momma." The other student laughed and tried to get him back later. I gave them a raised eyebrow look of disapproval, but deep down I know I love a good "yo momma" comment.

On the home front, my daughter has decided that changing diapers is no fun anymore. I get as far as taking off the wet one before she bolts from the room, little arms flailing to keep her balance and pale little bum cheeks disappearing over the horizon. Again, I try not to laugh to reinforce it, but sometimes I slip. Another thing she's decided is that she wants to get undressed by herself. This usually concludes with the amusing result of her not getting her long sleeve t-shirt off and instead looking more like a failed Houdini in diapers. Any offers of help up until that point are greeting with "NO! I do it by self!" but then after reaching the point of no return, she reluctantly accepts a hand. Her push for independence leads to other funny little quirks... She won't sit in high chairs or on boosters anymore. Bearing in mind that she is extremely short for her age, she looks especially adorable and ridiculous sitting with us at our dinner table or at tables in restaurants. You'd think we'd brought our pet chihuahua to the table.

My online college work is keeping me extra busy, hence my rare postings, but I figure you guys have healthy enough social lives that my temporary silence wouldn't upset you in the least.

4 comments:

Chris said...

but I figure you guys have healthy enough social lives

It's like you don't know us at all!

omar said...

haha, your kid is adorable! :D
My nephew is smaller than he's supposed to be, and it cracks me up when he tries to do stuff his older brother does - it's like a miniature replay, so cute :D

BraceletSeeds said...

Love your blog.

And.......I....can't.... resist....

"Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!"

No?

Yeah, I'm not too good at those.

xeila said...

"I did yo mamma" is hilarious! This type of stuff is exactly why I can't be a teacher. Hats off to teachers, for real.