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Thursday, October 30, 2008

Quotes of the Week

Okay, so this first one actually happened a week or so ago, but I kept forgetting to mention it and it's too good to pass up...

A student come charing into my friend's science class, and it's painfully obvious that he hadn't taken his medication that morning. He bounces off the walls for a bit, makes a general nuisance of himself in all manners possible.

Science Teacher: You haven't had your meds this morning, have you?

Neurotic Student: (Grins from ear to ear) Nope! I'm higher than a motherfucker!

Science Teacher: Go to the office.


Over doughnuts this morning (I'm a member of the "Doughnut Club". We eat chip in and share doughnuts once a week, usually on Fridays but since we've got a staff breakfast scheduled for this Friday, we moved our sacred ritual to this Thursday instead) a math teacher shared what he felt was the most outrageous referrals ever written about a student before. A fellow colleague of ours happens to have a rather flat looking back of the head and a student of his was kind enough to offer up her own diagnosis of what had happened:

Student With No Filter: I know what happened... Three fat women sat on your face, right?

I burst out laughing and paused long enough for another teacher in the room to offer her idea of the best comeback to that comment:

Spanish Teacher: He should have said "Yeah, it was your momma and her two sisters."

I laughed even harder. I love my colleagues.

4 comments:

calencoriel said...

Frighteningly enough, I just gave "Student with no filter" my merit award for the first quarter.

Maybe the student will be back from suspension in time to get the award...

TeacherLady said...

I wasn't kidding about the Merit Curse... Almost every kid I've given an award to got suspended or pregnant or both! I'm considering only giving the award to kids I hate from now on...

'liya said...

Those are both hilarious :D

xeila said...

Haha! This is why I could never teach. I'd forget that I'm the adult in the situation. :)