My husband has somehow managed to subscribe us to half a million magazines for free and so I was leafing through a copy of Cosmo, which I wouldn't really do anymore unless it WAS free. How many issues can boast to have the best new sex moves? Are the other ones outdated now?Will they no longer thrill? And if THIS issue tells me what guys REALLY want, were the last thousand issues wrong?
Anyway, I came upon a page that dealt with women's sexual insecurities (yeesh, we don't hear enough about those, huh?) and so I read each question and was confused to see that some women out there are actually concerned that they're "not normal" because they enjoy having their hair tugged or their bottoms spanked while getting frisky with their partner. I'm sorry, but have I been transported back in time? LOADS of women love a little friendly hair pulling and a bit of a botty-spanking... Since when has that become a fringe deviant sexual activity? I'd be more concerned if she said she could only get turned on if her husband wore a full monkey suit and rogered her with a banana- but even then- whatever floats your boat, baby. It'd be limiting, but it doesn't hurt anyone, so what the hey?
There was another woman who was concerned she may become addicted to her vibrator. My own interpretation of addiction is that you can't get through the day without it to the point that you can't function in your typical day's activities without thinking about getting the next fix, so unless she's buzzing her way through board meetings, lunch with her mother, and while she's out getting groceries, I don't think she has anything to worry about in terms of true addiction.
Another was concerned that she masturbates every day. I'd be a crappy sex therapist, because my response would be "Okay. And the problem is...?"
Are people so ashamed at their own pleasure? Are people so afraid of feeling good that they think they're abnormal, deviant, and borderline criminal?
People need to embrace and explore their own healthy sexuality more. I define "healthy" as: between consenting adults, no one is getting hurt (unless they want it!) and no animals or kids are involved. What a society of mea culpa prudes!
Where are Dr. Ruth and Sue Johansen (neither site is safe for work) when you need them? Do you have to get as old as them to realize it's okay to feel good?