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Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Helpless Moments.

There are times, as a parent, when you're not sure whether to laugh or cry or put the Good Samaritans on speed dial. One such moment took place the other day as I dashed to the master bathroom to make use of the facilities... My daughter was in view so I felt pretty confident she'd be okay in our closed bedroom. Oh yes, she'd be just fine.

It began with the laundry hamper, just out of my reach, obviously...

"No, baby... Don't take the laundry out of there... No... Oh... Noo... Put it back, please... Don't throw it all over the floor! Aww baby... Okay, thanks for stopping, at least. Where are you going? Hey... Baby? What are... Baby? Is that my drawer I hear? Oh... Baby, don't play with mommy's stuff, please... Please?"

She saunters past the open bathroom door with a smear of my stage make-up lipstick across her face with the offending stick still in her chubby little hand. She's heading for the book I'm reading. The 1000+ page book I was reading.

"Ooh. Er. Baby, don't touch that, please. That's mommy's book."

She tries to pick it up... By grasping the bookmark. She throws the apparently useless slip of paper aside. I believe it landed on top of a pair of my husband's underpants. She dutifully brings over mommy's book to her as she sits, vulnerable and near crying with her knickers around her ankles.

"It's heavy! Here you go, mommy."

"Thanks, baby."

Other favorite lavatory moments include her asking "Did you poop? Good girl mommy!" in public bathrooms or the ever popular ""Wipe your bum, mommy!"

I guess I ask for it since that's all she hears from me during our potty time together. I just can't wait for the "Mommy! Look at the fat lady!" comments at public swimming pools. We all know the time will come. Yeesh.


7aki Fadi said...

OMG the fat comments.

Samples of what my daughter says WHILE POINTING at the person:

Look mommy. This woman is fat

Look Mommy, this man has a fat head

look mommy this woman has a big bum

And the worst of them all is:
Mommy, does this man have a baby in his belly. HAHAHHA

Qwaider قويدر said...


Good good, your daughter will tell on you if you don't wash your hands

LOL! :)

calencoriel said...

Nothing will ever compare to the time I was in a grocery store with my 18 month old son and he pointed at a large, bald african american man and then made the sound of a gorilla...

Or the time in church when I was holding him and hoisted him up when he was slipping and he said, loudly, "Mommy, put me down, that hurts my penis."

Damn my need to teach correct anatomical terms...

Maher said...

aWww She is so sweet. mashallah allah ye7faza!

honestly, i dont know how i am going to coup with my kids. ma 3ende 6olet baal :s

Mrs Dynamite aka Lorena +Wonder Women... said...

Sara does the same! she is 4 years old , she is on diet and she has lost some of her extra kilos, but to stop her of eating candys or fat things I start showing her fat persons , and now she is the one pointing the persons..
ie. we were in publix the other day and she told me MOM you see her huge BUTT?? was a africanamerican lady .. I almost die!! there was no sad to put my face under! ... good luck! :)

Wendall said...

After waiting in a long line, I took my young son into a bathroom stall with me to relieve myself. When I pulled down my pants, he stated loud and clear, "Now I remember you don't have a penis!!" I could hear giggles from the line of ladies outside as I relplied, "Yes, love, mommy is a woman and women do not have penises." He repsonded by shouting "Whoa! you go peepee out your butt!" The laughter outside was so loud, no one could know I was at a loss for words.

TeacherLady said...

Oh you guys have such fantastic stories too! Each one is so cringe-worthy!
7aki, I like the "fat head" comment. That shows a keen eye. Perhaps she's an artist in the making!

Qwaider, I can only hope so. I've been teaching her to wash her own hands after I change her dirty diapers so if that doesn't turn her into an obsessive compulsive, we're okay.

Calen, oooh. I do hope his gorilla immitations were not that accurate sounding so you could play it off as his doing something else! Oooh. Awkward!

But I thoroughly approve of your and Wendall's point to teach your kids the word "penis". I never know what word to teach my daughter to use for her bits, because "vagina" is such an oddity. It refers to the canal beyond the labia, so it wouldn't be accurate for most things. In Britain, the whole front area is labeled the "fanny" or "front bottom", so I may just confuse her by having her call it a fanny while the rest of America would take that to mean her backside. Ah well.
But Wendall, good luck with the anatomy classes to follow...

Maher, you will cope. With a smile. Always a smile. Or else you'll kill yourself. If you smile, it makes it harder to lose it!

Lorena, maybe it motivated that woman to start a healthier lifestyle! Positive side, there's always a positive side...

humble simpleton said...

"It's heavy! Here you go, mommy."
One of the worst things on Earth are good intentions. She was lucky to give you the book, but how long it took to clean the lipstick? At least it was not lethal. I have a sister, and when she was a baby, she too had some good intentions. Like feeding the pig, which they had to destroy then, cause she fed it wooden sawdust. Or washing ducklings, which resulted in drowned ducklings.
'Penis' is latin for 'tail'. Maybe they named it so, because it is hanging and swinging between one's legs, only it serves another purposes than getting rid of flies.
'Vagina' is latin for 'sheath', you know, cover for your gladius, supposed to prevent it from getting rusty.
You can call it ogfe - organa genitalia feminina externa, but fanny sounds better.
Seeing your latinized arabic with numbers, How would you say:"The answer is 42."?