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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

When It's Best To Say Nothing At All.

The day after I passed my citizenship test, I was so flustered that I locked my keys (camel key chain and all) in my car for the first time in my life.

Fortunately, I was already at work, have AAA membership, and had the whole day ahead of me to regain access to my car. Apparently, a student had seen me out with the kind gentleman who was helping to open my car up.

Dodgy Student: Hey TeacherLady, did you have people at your car today?

TeacherLady: Yeah, I locked myself out.

Dodgy Student: Hey, you shoulda called me, I got the hanger in my locker!

However, one of my favorite incidents when pleading the 5th may have been a wiser choice was in this conversation:

Girl: Do you ever get stressed in your job?

TeacherLady: Yes, very.

Girl: What do you do?

TeacherLady: I just go home, put a dent in the sofa and watch some TV with my husband after playing and reading with my daughter for a bit. I feel bad for my daughter because, frankly, I lose most of my patience here at work. I try my best, but work takes a lot out of me. (Trying to guilt them into behaving better. It’s kind of charming how na├»ve I can be sometimes. You got a bridge to sell me?)

Girl: You should just smoke some weed. (she mimes taking a toke and leans back in her chair with her eyes half closed.)

TeacherLady: Er no. I’ve never smoked weed. Chocolate and TV will suite me fine.

Girl: Really?

Second Girl: Really? You’ve never smoked weed? Not even on New Year’s?

THAT'S the one! That’s the line that will make me laugh every time I think of it. Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner! The implication that a parent has, at some point, said “Oh go on, it’s New Year’s Eve, you can have a puff” to a girl who was 14 last New Year’s Eve. Ho-ly crap. It’s sad and funny at the same time.


PrincessPi said...

I taught in the NYC ghetto. I also live in the NYC ghetto. One of my kiddies used to sell on the corner about 11 blocks from school, and when I'd pass him in the evenings, he'd invariably say, "hey, yo, Miss, wanna get twisted? I got a dime for you."

At least he was courteous. Didn't graduate, but that kid can do the hell out of fractions and percentages.

'liya said...



Cairogal said...

lol :)