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Monday, May 12, 2008

Reality Is What You Make Of It.

Did you know that my students have the power to bend reality with the power of their minds? I have one student in particular who is quite deft at his ability to alter the very fabric of the universe using only his thoughts. Here is one of the many examples of his spectacular feat:

He is standing up in science class, with his t-shirt in his hand, dancing in an attempt to display his bare chest to the rest of the class. He's singing some song that involves the lyrics "My shirt off, my shirt off..." etc.

Science Teacher: What are you doing? Why is your shirt off?

Pinocchio: My shirt isn't off.

Science Teacher: It's off and in your right hand.

Pinocchio: No it isn't.

Impressive, no?

I've had troubles with this kid all year because no matter how blatant his behavior, and regardless of the fact that you were a witness to his actions, he will look you in the eye and totally deny he did anything at all. I'm guessing his career choices come down to lawyer, politician, actor, or chronic repeat offender #24601.


Saudi Stepford Wife-Daisy said...

my oldest (age 10) does the same thing...
"so, you're telling me my eyes are lying then?" I ask her as she tries to proclaim innocence despite being caught with her hand in the cookie-jar.

The way you phrased this post was hilarious!

humble simpleton said...

He will be perfect Black Knight.

"Look You stupid bastard, You've got no arms left!"
"Yes I have."
"Just a flesh wound."

Do you have a suitable bridge around for him to guard?

calencoriel said...

I enjoy the precision of his science teacher pointing out that yes, in fact, the shirt is off and in his right hand...as if the specificity of what hand is holding the shirt will slap the kid back into reality...

My students who are older than those you deal with at least own up to what they do...they still do the ridiculous things that make me say things like: "Why are your pants on the lab table?" and then pretend they've done nothing wrong, but then admit, "Okay...my pants are on the table, you got me"

It takes a while to build that kind of rapport with them...

TeacherLady said...

Daisy, it's amazing... It's like they're Jedi in training...

Humble, you know me so well... :)

Calen, I love any scenario that involves the word "pants"... It's a word that makes any incident instantly hilarious to me! And yes, it's very typical of "my" science teacher to point out all the facts, especially when they work in his favor in an argument.