Our school psychologist is clearly a being from another planet. There is no other way to explain the sheer magnitude of his inability to grasp the social and cultural practices of the human race. Last week, this conversation took place between him and BlueEyes, a special education colleague of mine.
Psychologist From Outer Space: Could I ask you a question?
Psychologist From Outer Space: What does... "Baby mama" mean?
BlueEyes: Uh. It means... The baby's... Mama... (the Psychologist squints and leans forward to imply his interest in what his patient... Er, I mean colleague, is saying. The pause indicates he may need more explanation). It just doesn't have the possessive.
Psychologist From Outer Space: Ah. So the mother doesn't take possession of the child.
BlueEyes: Er. No. I meant it's just "Baby Mama" without the apostrophe s.
Psychologist From Outer Space: Ah, I see. Thank you. (He wanders back to his room as if in a haze, no doubt about to radio back to the Mother Ship to share his new findings.)
Just once, I'd like this man to actually do his freaking job. Just once I'd like him to get the students' names right. Just once, I'd like him to get a freaking clue.