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Thursday, December 13, 2007

To Kid or Not To Kid.

I've recently noticed a number of stories in the news about adoptions going wrong and the parents wanting to return the child to foster care. Here are two very different stories... One is about a Dutch couple who want to give back the seven year old they had adopted when she was 4 months old, and the other is about a woman who stuck to the decision she made despite her three abused adoptive daughters who made her life a living hell.

Regarding the first story... What a load of bollocks. How on earth can they argue that the child doesn't fit in when they were the only people to raise her? I think people give up so easily on marriage and child-rearing because they have some misguided conception that it's all sunshine, musical numbers, and rich chocolate Ovaltine. In my opinion, raising a child is a fucking amazing thing for people who a) want kids in the first place, b) are lucky enough to have what it takes to raise one both financially and emotionally, and c) realizes there will always be bumps in the road no matter what you do.

I thoroughly respect the opinions of people who don't want to have kids, and applaud the ones who are safe (ie. contraception, not abortion!) to not have them and not make themselves and their kid miserable. For the ones who accidentally get pregnant and give the kid up for adoption, that's sad, but I respect that decision too... But to adopt a kid as a baby and raise it until it's 7 years old and then want to give it back? What a pair of wankers. One can hope that her going back into foster care may have saved her a life of misery being stuck with a pair of shits who obviously don't love her, but that doesn't change the fact that they're a pair of shits. I wonder how their biological children will feel about the whole story when they grow up and find out about it.

Remember everyone, a child isn't just for Christmas. If the kid's lucky, he'll get to stick around for New Year's too before you kick him out on his ass.

As for the second story, holy Jebus. That poor woman. God knows how freaking annoying teenagers can be, but to try to raise three who had been abused as children must be one of the most emotionally draining adoptions ever. You can't undo something as tragic as that easily, if at all. I'm just grateful for someone like Dawn who is willing to take on a task very few would.


7aki Fadi said...

I can't believe this!!!

They should be prosecuted. And the mom is doing therapy!!! I just can’t believe it.

humble simpleton said...

Apart from being disgusting, simply abandon an adopted child without any consequences would make quite a stupid precedent, that you can just test the baby for several years, maybe the most important years in its development, and if you don't like it, just give it away like unwanted pet. I would also be for prosecution.
On the other hand, the media attention this case is attracting, could find her some better fate than being considered and treated like an annoying burden by those two hollanders. Must be pretty hard work to be a judge, huh.

Maha said...

One more adoption story

This adopted 2 year old girl was such a horrible creature she turned her adoptive mother into a drunk murderer. The poor mother was cheated into buying damaged goods.The tone of the article is sickenning.

Raising children takes a lot of patience regardless of biology. For the mother of the adopted 3 girls, yes she has done a great deed! but you know what, there is no guarentee that things would've been different if the girls were biologically hers. Children are fragile and can be traumatized by anything, it's always an adult's fault.

TeacherLady said...

I've been sitting at this keyboard for two minutes trying to type but I'm choking back the sadness and the queasy stomach at the story you shared. Children matter more to me than anything else in this world and every time I read a story like this, I feel helpless. How can I stop the monsters when there are so many? When no one can help- not even the ones whose job it's supposed to be to help? When, as a teacher, you try to stop their suffering and NO ONE WILL LISTEN or they twiddle their thumbs with paperwork for days on end, each day a living hell for the child. It makes me sick and we're not doing enough to stop it. We're supposed to be the responsible ones.
Thanks, Maha, for sharing in my horror. My daughter will be 2 in 4 months and I can't imagine... I hold her tight every day thinking how much I want to protect her from the suffering so many children endure. I wish I could do it for more.