Disclaimer: Some content is inappropriate for readers under 18 years of age or those offended by swear words, references to sexuality, atheism, and libertarianism.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Creepy Janitor


I heartily respect the work of the janitorial (or "custodial") staff of any school building in the world. It must be truly horrific to have to be on call to wipe up various bodily excretions, tidy up after kids who obviously have a hard time locating one of the many over-sized trash cans provided throughout the campus, and even teachers who may leave more than footprints behind... (I kid you not, excrement was found in the FLOOR OF THE WOMEN'S STAFF bathroom... Funny story, maybe for another time...)




But nothing excuses the behavior of The Creepy Janitor located mainly in our part of the building. He freely admits to stealing from teachers who have pissed him off (this can be done by accidentally dropping a bunch of little bits of paper out of your hole-punch, my colleague tells me who has been the subject of such wrath), taking left over food from the garbage (I'm all for dumpster-diving if the food is still in its sealed container and still good, but he takes stuff we've taken bites out of), offers massages to female staff members, and a vast array of other creepy things. He also has a bit of a fetish for pregnant women, I was most dismayed to discover when I was in the midst of my ever-expanding state.
Before summer began, he clearly violated my personal space while telling me how fantastic I look and made my skin crawl with the old elevator eyes thing... I was uncomfortable and gave a mumbled response before fleeing with a colleague down the hall. Unfortunately, we were not out of eat or eye shot when she started making kissing noises at me and imitating his spine chilling leer up and down my body, so he felt the need to tie up loose ends at the end of the day by grabbing me forcefully by the arm:

Creepy Janitor Guy: You weren't offended by what I said earlier, were you?
TeacherLady: *laughing nervously* Uhh... I... Just wasn't expecting it. It took my by surprise.

Why didn't I just say "yes"?

I decided that since it was the last day of work, I didn't have to be literally held back in the building, so I squirmed from his grip and scampered off to join my colleagues for a bit of after-school refreshments.

Ever since our return from the summer break, I've been keeping an eye out for dead rodents being planted in my drawer and I even have a plan with one of my colleagues should I get cornered in my room again. We have to attach a discrete code name to it, so I'm thinking he won't suspect a thing if I pick up the phone, dial my buddy and say:




"Get me the hell out of here, that thieving perv is back again!" I could be talking about someone else, after all.

1 comment:

Realm Of Dreams said...

You should get the guy fired. No reason you should put up with that!