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Friday, August 31, 2007

Where's The Sexual Harrassment Panda When You Need Him?

I was nervous when I found out which math teacher I was going to be working with this year, because he has a bit of a track record of saying inappropriate things and usually in front of students. He's not malicious, just doesn't THINK before he demonstrates a case of chronic verbal diarrhea with a side of stupid.

If the first day is any indicator, I'm going to be in for a great year:

Student Who May Have Had a Speed And Peanut Butter Sandwich For Lunch (but that's beside the point): I don't wanna do this... *complain, grumble, etc*
Captain Inappropriate: Do you need a hug?
Student: Huh?
Captain Inappropriate: Because I'm not giving you one. *Puts on a show of "masculine" strutting*
That's what Miss. TeacherLady is here for, hahaha.
TeacherLady: Uh... Excuse me?

Yep, that's what I do. That's m'job. Actually, my job is going to be to try to keep my dear colleague from making an ass of himself while at the same time making sure these kids understand the finer points of 9th grade algebra and geometry. At least it's a step up from last year's doozy:

Student: My sister is going to be coming over to the high school next year.
Captain Inappropriate: Is she hotter than you?

Even in all my feminist glory, I could see that his intent was to try to tease her into feeling like she was in her sister's shadow, but he couldn't fight his inescapable need to say the absolutely wrong thing, at the wrong time, to the wrong person. He couldn't have done worse if he had gone to an orphanage and asked the kids what they're going to do for Mother's Day.

I like him, so I'm going to have to think of a way to save his ass before he offers it up on a plate, complete with garnish and a dessert menu.


humble simpleton said...

Math teachers usually are exclusive persons, aren't they? At least all math teachers during my school time were very special individualities.

Once I made some stupid mistake in solving something at the table.
Mathteacher: "Man, if you were ran over by a steamroller, that would be for the benefit of the whole society!"

'liya said...

Eek! In my school the second comment could get a person in a lot of trouble. I believe the student can even sue the school board for sexual harassment.

I know you don't like the first example you give, but it's kinda funny - made me smile! :D