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Monday, August 27, 2007

Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter The Staffroom.

It's funny how it doesn't take long for the yahoos to make themselves known on the first day of school. During the tour of the building, one of the football-jersey-wearing upstarts boasted loudly that he already knew where the weight room was. The science teacher on my team was quick to put him in his place:

"Really? You'd never be able to tell. What were you doing, sweeping up in there?"

He's already earned the respect of all those in earshot of that exchange.

I kept a lookout for the eye-rolling, the loud tutting noise I've grown to hate (it sounds like a sharp, saliva-laden intake of air through the front teeth), and the obvious defiance following an instruction from the teacher.

The 9th grade meeting that followed in the auditorium is probably indicative of the kind of crap we're going to endure for the rest of the school year. It was an unmitigated disaster.

It only got worse when our new principal unwittingly let loose an unfortunate double entendre. Some of the younger teachers struggled with their composure at that point. I just felt bad for him.

Laughter rippled until it got louder, and his standing there glaring at them only made matters worse because they read it as defeat instead of shock and annoyance. He even braved letting them have a questions and answers session with three very frightened upper-classmen. They looked as though they were prepared to dodge beer bottle projectiles.

The Q&A session ended when it was revealed that not one of the questions showed an iota of intelligence, and one even went up to ask if there were any "playa haters" in the house, with his shades over his beady eyes, and his shoulders shrugged with "gangsta" pose as best as his gangly body could muster.

I've seen some loud kids I think I'm going to enjoy this year, and I've seen some who may be on the receiving end of a TeacherLady style verbal smack down, but all in all I'm not entirely hopeful. But I'm a special ed. teacher, so there's always a little ray of hope!

(Watch for edits when I realize this grade is actual a heralding of the Apocalypse and that I should have abandoned all hope the minute they screamed their way through the doors.)


'liya said...

"Really? You'd never be able to tell. What were you doing, sweeping up in there?" LOL that's perfect! :D

Forsoothsayer said...

and are all these kids special or what?