Disclaimer: Some content is inappropriate for readers under 18 years of age or those offended by swear words, references to sexuality, atheism, and libertarianism.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Before I Go Go.

Yes, I hope that annoying discharge of a song from the 80s is now plaguing you as it is me. I share the love.

I should be in a better mood. I just won a lottery. Okay, so it's not enough to warrant my husband and I mooning our respective bosses, but it was $500, so I should be smiling. I won it under annoying circumstances, which kind of ruined the effect, though. I went in to the petrol station with my ticket I received in the mail that would either give me one, two, or five free scratch off lottery cards with an outside chance of the $500.

Young Gentleman of Suspiciously Appalachian Descent: You won $500.

TeacherLady: (God, hicks have such a lame sense of humor, though I don't mind some of their stnd-up comedians... Jeff Foxworthy's not bad, but now he does that stupid game show...) Did I? (He doesn't look like he's joking. He's not. Wow. That's kinda cool. I'd best not say anything in case he got it wrong.)

YGSAD: Yup. Let me check. Yup, looks like you won $500. I don't even know if we have that much in the drawers.

He confers with a "woman" who seems to be a few sandwiches short of a picnic herself and has a speech impediment that would befit a cute little girl with fewer teeth than limbs. She smiles at my fortune. Oh hey, whaddya know...

They rifle through their drawers and find they don't have $500 to cough up.

"Woman": You're gonna hafta come back. Uh. You can't take the ticket with you.

TeacherLady: What?

YGSAD: Yeah. I scanned ya in.

TeacherLady: Can't I just cash it in at another place?

"Woman": No, you can't. He scanned ya in, so if you take that we'll be out $500. Just leave it here and come back when our manager gets in because we can't get into the safe in the back.

TeacherLady: But... (I frantically search for some sense of logic in my leaving behind a winning lottery ticket) How can you confirm it's me when I get back?

YGSAD: Just leave your ID here.

At this point another man making his purchase of beer and ciggies nearby looks me straight in the eye and seems to be experiencing the same level of bewilderment I'm experiencing. I ask for them to write a note or something to act as documentation if they seriously insist on telling me to come back later, to which they get frustrated and slightly angry and the "Woman" just keeps repeating how they'd be out $500. In my own frustration, I respond.

TeacherLady: I can't help that!

They finally agree to call their manager in to gain access to the safe. They're still acting mad, and I'm still confused at this point, so I go wait in our car as my daughter is getting just as irritated and I figure Sesame Street can sooth both our nerves.

Anyway, I finally got my money and we parted ways still not quite understanding each other's perspective of the situation. I got the "we'd be out $500" thing again before I touched the door to leave. I guess they may have been so genuinely honest that they really didn't see the holes in their great idea for me to leave behind not only my money but my ID too.

As I fly to Canada for my brother's wedding tomorrow, I was relieved to walk away with my money, my ID, and the hope that my good luck will run throughout my journey alone with my one year old. With a transit. I shall most likely return to blogging for a brief moment before I jet set off onto further adventures.

I would say "wish me luck", but you may already be cursing me as a jammy bastard who didn't deserve the freaking money anyway. :)


'liya said...

Congratulations on the win, $500 sounds lovely *sigh*

Enjoy your trip to Canada, be warned, it's very hot here :D

ra said...

and TL does it again, lol!!

hey i met somebody who taught me when i was in the 4th grade. its been 25 years since. the image i had of her when she taught me was so different, i guess i didnt ever expect her to grow old. Sister Carmen Mary. good God, it was so nice to see her again.

you kno what teachers rock!!