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Wednesday, May 16, 2007

The Straight Dope and Other True Stories.

As the year is winding up, teachers have to think of ways to keep the students focused on the prize, and in history class the teacher has asked the students to write their own history in the form of a page and a half essay. It's meant to document the important milestones from birth to the present and the students had questions about what they should include that won't get them arrested.

Student 1 (of the infamous Gardening Time incident and unsuccessful drug bust): What if you don't remember anything since 13 years old?

I guess we can thus extrapolate when he started puffing his brain cells away! Drugs are bad, m'kay?

Frankly, I'd be nervous about reading those essays. More than once, you read a kid's biography and you learn something so horrific, you no longer wonder why the kid seems so angry at the world. You'd be surprised at how big and tough they make themselves out to be in the classroom in contrast to the scared, lonely, angry, or depressed child they willingly reveal themselves to be to the one adult they know will always be there for them no matter how shitty they act.

I remember Queen Latifah, or so I nicknamed her for her uncanny resemblance to the songstress, and how hard she acted in front of her peers- boasting about how her dog was put into a dog fight, but the stupid thing had got itself killed.
She mentioned it more than once.
Then, in an essay to me, she wrote about how her father had taken her puppy without her knowledge or permission and put it into that one dog fight that had got it mauled to death and that she missed her puppy very much.

Or the girl whose mother beat her, or the other girl whose father raped her, and the countless others we don't even know about.

Perhaps when my daughter is older, I should have her write essays about me... You never learn so much about the stupidity of adult mankind as when you read the writings of a child.

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