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Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Al Qaeda Job Application Form!

Oh my freaking God! An Al Qaeda job application form! I think they mistranslated it, though. Here are my corrections:

"Are you willing to travel one way?"

"Were you bullied as a child?"

"Do you suffer from any pre-existing condition? (Like we really care, Red Shirt.)"

"Are you morbidly obese? We need more human shields and the skinny dudes just aren't cutting it."

"Do you have- or would you like us to assign you- a cool nickname by which the press can use when the US is hunting your ass down? You can't take "Dr. Evil", we don't want another copyright infringement mess. You can't take "Osama's Right Hand Man" either. Yet. Once we're down to you, it can be your turn. And you can't take "Harbinger of Death" either, because that's mine and I'm sick of people trying to steal my ideas."

"Do you like kittens? Anyone who says 'no' to this just isn't right in the head and we don't want some fucking loony on the job."

4 comments:

Christine said...

I must steal this, it cracked me up. Thanks for the laugh.

humble simpleton said...

Why do they allways start a paper with "In the name of god, the merciful, the compassionate"? What does mercy and compassion have to do with the most repulsive carnage going on on earth today?
"In the name of god, the merciful, the compassionate, we, the fighters for freedom now saw off the head of this captured worker."

ra said...

llllllloooooooooooooooooooooolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!

teacherlady, been havin a very ruff three weeks.

u kno there should be more like u out there.

received something so disturbing in my mail today. was told these are actual and present day living conditions for workers in dubai.

was so distressed. i want to do something about this. it cannot go on forever.

TeacherLady said...

Ra, change is in the wind in the UAE, but I'm ashamed of how long that kind of abuse has been allowed to go on. It would be nice if the Emiratis gave thanks to the people who have literally built their country instead of giving all that "They chose to come here" or "they make more here than back home" bullshit. Treat others as you would want to be treated yourself. You don't have to believe in a God to believe in the justice of that.

Christine, if you can give me credit, I'd appreciate it! It'd be nice to increase traffic here!

Humble, no religion is without its hypocrisy, it's just sad that they don't see that.