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Friday, March 30, 2007

Oo-er Missus!

(Note: For those of you who don't know, "oo-er missus" is a British expression said in response to comments that have intentional or unintentional elements of sexual innuendo)

My husband is a letter carrier/mail man, and so if I'm able to give him a call during the day, he often chats with me using a Bluetooth ear piece. I would never be able to use that because I'd constantly feel the urge to draw attention to it so people didn't think I was a maniac gibbering to herself.

Anyway, I get to hear him on his rounds and occasionally hear people talking to him- "Hot enough for ya?" and "Oh ho ho, you can keep the bills, I don't want those!" or nonsensical ramblings of one of the neighborhood crackheads running a daycare out of her apartment are the most common things I tend to overhear.

What I often like to do is say completely obscene things to him while he's politely interacting with whomever has just approached him or else make remarks about specific things the person says, especially if they say something stupid.

One day, while I was chatting to my darling, I heard him ring a doorbell, so I said:
"Hello! I've got a big package... Just for you!" and laughed. I heard the door open and my sweetheart said, in his most cheery tone said:
"Hello! I've got a big package for you!" and I heard some excited woman's squeals follow. I'm such a dirty-minded perv, had my mailman said that, I wouldn't have missed a beat in responding with:
"That's what HE said."

1 comment:

humble simpleton said...

I can remember you once mentioned something about spanking. Ahaa, now I can understand that. Nasty wife, really nasty.