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Monday, January 08, 2007

Why I Love the States.

1) Most of what I want usually ends up being available here, even if it was never sold here prior to my move to the States. (eg: Nutella, Terry chocolate oranges.) If you've never put Nutella on a hot pancake, you have yet to truly live.

2) I can actually go through a whole day without having my ass brushed up against by some desperately lonely, sexually repressed pervert who thinks my exposed arms and ankles makes me a cheap Russian whore. (No offense to cheap Russian whores intended.)

3) TiVo.

4) Porn. Although I can't get the Hustler channel from my satellite because of local laws for this county.

5) The maps here aren't defaced with black markers to remove that pesky little place next to Palestine.

6) Neither are the magazines! BEGONE! EVIL BREASTS OF THE WHORE OF BABYLON!

7) Guys and girls think my accent is sexy and that I'm dark and mysterious.

8) Shops dedicate a whole aisle to one type of food, making every shopping experience an adventure in itself and can last for days.

9) Thankfully, you can be sustained on such shopping trips by the abundance of free samples of food.

10) Such a delightful mix of heritages and ethnicity leads to the creation of some beautiful people. Wentworth Miller. Need I say more?

11) You can say whatever the hell you like about the government (it's practically compulsory) and you won't vanish in the middle of the night, unless you expose the truth about alien abdu............

1 comment:

Mecha-Shiva said...

"7) Guys and girls think my accent is sexy and that I'm dark and mysterious."

maybe, but your use of British lingo just confuses us. If we seem deep in thought, we're probably just processing what an advert might be.

Just kidding, but not really.