In science class yesterday (on one of the days of the week I'm not in there), one of our more obnoxious students got into her usual bad mood and started swearing really loudly. Another student told her to shut up, so the Bad Mood Girl got up and slapped the Shut Up Girl.
Today, Bad Mood Girl hadn't been seen by the principal yet and so she walked into the room with that dreaded "untouchable" air about her, talking with pride about how cowardly Shut Up Girl had been. All through this gloating and chest thumping, Shut Up Girl is doing what she normally does: Her work.
I approached Bad Mood Girl and decided to try to diffuse the moment until the principal can get around to dealing with her.
TeacherLady: You need to get this lab done. Do you need any help getting started?
Bad Mood Girl: No, you need to tell Mr. Science Teacher to get out of my face, he's so racist. He never tells the white kids to act differently. She needs to leave me alone too.
TeacherLady: You're the only one in this class who cusses on the top of her lungs! You're also the only one making a scene! Shut Up Girl hasn't said a word about this, you're the only one making a situation out of nothing. I don't think it's racist for the teacher to expect you to be a better person than that. If he were racist, he'd think you couldn't do better than that.
Bad Mood Girl: No, he's just a racist. I want to go to home school. (TeacherLady offers up a silent prayer). But I'll be better for you, Ms. TeacherLady. (She flashes me her charming smile and I give her a small smile back).
TeacherLady: Thank you, Bad Mood Girl, I appreciate that very much.
(Relieved that a scene won't erupt, I walk over to another side of the room to check on the student progress there).
Student 1: I heard you can't catch anything if you do it that way.
Little Pervy Student (to Students 1 and 2): No man, if she bleed you gonna get AIDS. It's tighter in the butt so she might bleed.