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Friday, December 29, 2006

Glands of the mammary variety.

Yet another fun filled event involving a student with an emotional disturbance. Sadly, he's one of the ones that responds very well to medication... When he's on it. When on his meds, he raises his hand, stays silent during the lecture portion of the bell, and writes down all the information given to him. When he's not on his meds... Well... Here's an example:

Student: Oh my GOD.

Teacherlady: What, Student?

Student: Oh MY GOD, that Jessica Simpson's hot.

Teacherlady: I was hoping you had a science question.

Student: Oh and her titties...! (He proceeds to make a "motorboat" sound)

Teacherlady: That's not appropriate. Call me over when you have a science question. (I leave his general vicinity, which upsets him because he rather likes me. To be honest, I like him too, though I wouldn't trust him to behave well around his own grandmother.)

Student: Oh no, miss, miss. I'll be appropriate (Yeesh, we use that word so much that kids recognize it as a perfect buzz word), aw shit.

Minutes pass, and I continue to give him stern looks across the room and each time he gets a little angry with himself that he's disappointed me again. He eventually raises his hand. I walk over, trying not to look cynical.

Teacherlady: Do you need any help? (Boy, is THAT the million dollar question.)

Student proceeds to lift his rump off the chair and humps the air in some attempt to be funny and then starts to ask a legitimate question. I've already started to walk away.

Student: Aww, no miss, I have a question, really... Miss Teacherlady? Fuck.

Female student: You nasty, boy. She don't wanna see that crap. You need to go to church.

Student: I go to church... Sometimes. I was baptized.

Female student: Did you no good, huh?

I try with all my might to stifle my smile. I fail, so I pretend to help a student behind me.

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