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Monday, November 06, 2006

The kitchen appliance of DOOM

Rarely does such legend grow around a household utensil as one has in the case of... THE MICROWAVE. In my house, our first microwave sat atop a kitchen counter before our awed, slack-jawed faces much like the monolith intimidated the apes at the start of 2001:A Space Odyssey.

"Don't look into it, you'll get cancer in your eyes, and for GOD'S SAKE, don't put metal in it."

The mind boggled at what exactly the disaster would befall us should we dare to defy the Rules of the Microwave and offer up a spoon to its insides. Would the aforementioned piece of cutlery burst into flames? Nah, it was metal. Would sparks fly? Would the whole house wink out of existence?
I think despite its great use in warming up my mother's many fantastic leftovers, I always had a touch of fear in my heart reserved entirely for our cancer-causing, exploding, flame-inducing kitchen device of death.

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