Dear God, Sorry to Disturb you, But...

I finally made use of the massage gift card my husband got me for my last birthday and ended up having quite the philosophical discussion. While I normally prefer to remain absolutely silent and have whoever’s handling me do the same, we ended up chatting almost the entire time. He was the first male massage therapist I’d ever been to, but fully expected him to be gay, giving me nothing to worry about. Indeed, he was, so I didn’t have to tense up at the thought of his accidentally brushing my boob or other lady bits. We discussed politics, intolerance of homosexuals, cultural differences, great wines, and atheism.

I was so tempted to ask why most homosexuals vote for Democrats over Libertarians who actually have the balls to back gay marriage, but I didn’t. They probably don’t vote for them for the same reason I don’t, at least in the presidential race. I’m too chicken to back what I perceive to be the losing horse, so I just resort to the lesser of two evils.

While he felt claustrophobic being forced to be in the closet in certain circles, he had it two-fold in the fact that he felt unable to be open about his atheism too. I felt strange actually recognizing that I felt in the closet too.

Back home, it was unheard of for anyone to be a “non-believer”. As a wee one, my “friends” would rat me out to our Islam teacher like the little SS informant wannabes that they were. I had to lie to keep from being told I was going to hell, my family was going to hell, and my best friend who was Christian, and my little dog too. I decided that if there was a hell, I’d rather go there with people who I loved and who loved me and loved life and a freaking sense of humor than be trapped for all eternity with a bunch of hypocritical “holier-than-thou” wieners who felt it more important to follow ancient dogma and spread fear, mistrust, and bitterness under the guise of keeping the best interests of other’s immortal souls at heart when they really just love any excuse to exclude people, judge people, and look down at them. At least if they practiced religion in a loving, productive way I wouldn’t have developed such distaste for organized religions. I recognize that not all believers act the way they did, but my early experiences with religion were all pretty much like that. Witch hunt after witch hunt. Who can we accuse next? To those who practice a religion with love, charity, and joy, thank you. To those who are troubled by my lack of faith but who don't believe I should die a horrible death, thank you.

When I moved to America, I foolishly thought that separation of church and state actually existed and I’d be free to follow my own lack of religion to my heart’s content. I was proven wrong when I tried to buy white wine for a recipe one Sunday morning. I felt like asking if I really had to be held to someone else’s religious beliefs, but I could tell it wasn’t the cashier’s fault and that she was powerless to help me out. I happened to go to a private college for my undergrad, so it was a small Catholic establishment. I’m in their house, so I have no problem having Jesus peer mournfully down at me from every office and classroom, but I could see the perception they had of the rest of the world and it was limited to say the least.

I soon learned it wasn’t altogether acceptable to mention one’s lack of religion or belief in a God in my little corner of the United States. I couldn’t even get away with honestly admitting that I’d be willing to believe in a God if there was unquestionable proof because that wasn’t good enough and it would inevitably lead into the whole “faith is built on not having proof” thing and which drives me nuts.

I don’t try to convert people to my beliefs, and I appreciate it when they afford me the same respect, but what they always struggle to keep to themselves is the complete inability to grasp how I might have any understanding of what is “right” or “wrong”. That I could have an internal moral compass as opposed to needing someone or something else to function as an external one seems to completely confuse many of them.

So this is my coming out of the closet: I don’t believe in religious dogma. I don’t believe in the existence of a God or gods. I don’t believe in the devil. I don’t believe in an afterlife. I believe people are imperfect and it’s a great goal to strive for perfection, but my vision of perfection and yours might be very different. I’m okay with that as long as no one gets hurt. If your vision of perfection involves harming others in the name of your religion, that’s not a difference of opinion, you’re just an asshole.

Thank you.

A Perfect Day

This just totally chilled out my squirmy six month old... And then is ended... Drat.

Tim Burton's Superman

I love Tim Burton. However, there are times when I recognize that he may quite possibly be on some sort of MAJOR hallucinogenics. What, in the name of Krypton, was he thinking when he came up with this concept for Superman? Granted, the movie that did come out was pretty mediocre at best, but Nicholas Cage? I like him too, despite that horrendous inability to accept his natural hair loss, but... In THAT costume? Holy Kal-El. Seeing Mr. Cage's expression in this video convinced me that they must have been sharing the same bong/crack pipe/whatever.

Sorry, I know this is old, but this is the first time I ever saw this. And I wish I never had.

I love Tim Burton and Nic Cage, I really do... But a comic-book nerd has her limits.

Little Woman.

My older daughter is three and a half years old, but I'm already getting a taste of the teenager she may grow up to be. She's got a little friend at daycare named Denny. One evening we were eating dinner at the dinner table and she shared:

Mini-me: We call Denny a diaper, because he's small.

TeacherLady: Oh that's not nice. Poor Denny.

Denny is the kid who is always standing inches from us when I come to pick her up from daycare each day. If he's not in love with my daughter, he's at least in awe of her. And he is small. I encourage her to say bye to him as we leave, and she always does... He just stands there, staring after her. Denny the Diaper.

I do love how their insults are limited to their current vocabulary. Toddler Tourettes would consist of "poo, pee, potty, bum, fart". I should know, because my daughter occasionally has such outbursts followed by squeals of laughter.

Speaking of which, I'm mildly concerned about her tendency to randomly flash us. She sometimes likes to wear costumes about the house, and one day she was dressed quite charmingly in her Snow White outfit. In fact, she had put it on in honor of the Disney show we were about to go see and we thought she looked delightful. I then heard her distinctive squealing laugh, saw my husband roll his eyes smiling and turned to see her tiny bottom waving back and forth at me from underneath her poofy yellow skirt.

Mini-me: Look at my BUM! (she says/sings the word "bum" in as though it's made up of three syllables. It's very cute.)

I did what any self-respecting parent would do. I whipped out the digital video camera. Oh she'll pay for this, all right, but many years from now when I insist on showing this at any family gathering we host at our place.

The Evils of the Boob.

To be filed under a WTF category:

Somali Islamists whip women for wearing bras
Fri Oct 16, 2009 11:35am GMT

By Abdi Sheikh

MOGADISHU (Reuters) - Somalia's hardline Islamist group al Shabaab has publicly whipped women for wearing bras they say violate Islam by constituting a deception, north Mogadishu residents said Friday.

The insurgent group, which seeks to impose a strict form of sharia Islamic law throughout Somalia, amputated a foot and a hand each from two young men accused of robbery earlier this month. They have also banned movies, musical ringtones, dancing at wedding ceremonies and playing or watching soccer.

Residents said gunmen had been rounding up any woman seen with a firm bust and then had them publicly whipped by masked men. The women were then told to remove their bras and shake their breasts.

"Al shabaab forced us to wear their type of veil and now they order us to shake our breasts," a resident, Halima, told Reuters, adding that her daughters had been whipped Thursday.

"They first banned the former veil and introduced a hard fabric which stands stiffly on women's chests. They are now saying that breasts should be firm naturally, or just flat."

Officials of Al Shabaab, which Washington says is al Qaeda's proxy in the failed Horn of Africa state, declined to comment.

The group's hardline interpretation of Islamic law has shocked many Somalis, who are traditionally moderate Muslims. Some residents, however, give the insurgents credit for restoring order to the regions under their control.

Al Shabaab, which means "youth" in Arabic, control large swathes of south and central Somalia.

Abdullahi Hussein, a student in north Mogadishu, said his elder brother was thrown behind bars when he fought back a man who humiliated their sister by asking her to remove her bra.

"My brother was jailed after he wrestled with a man that had beaten my sister and forced her to remove her bra. He could not stand it," Hussein said.

Men were not spared the' moral cleansing'. Any man caught without a beard was been publicly whipped.

"I was beaten and my hair was cut off with a pair of scissors in the street," Hussein said.

"My trouser was also cut up to the knee. They accused me of shaving my beard but I am only 18. They have arrested dozens of men and women. You just find yourself being whipped by a masked man as soon as leave your house."

(Editing by Helen Nyambura-Mwaura)

© Thomson Reuters 2009 All rights reserved



Sorry if you've already seen this article, it's a bit dated, but I had to comment.

Okay. At what point do these guys fail to examine themselves and realize how hypocritical they're being. If their goal is to remove the outward sexuality or sexual expression of women (ie. their tits, those evil, evil fun bags of doom and destruction) why do they then force the women to jiggle the offending mammary glands them? They're one hair's breadth away from donning "F.B.I. : Female Body Inspector" t-shirts and guffawing like 13 year olds at the sight of a woman's boobs.

At what point do people actually start to take responsibility for their own thoughts and feelings and stop blaming a) the devil, b) women, c) the West? Wasn't the hijab meant to have men see women as equals and not ogle their boobs? Doesn't seem to work, does it? Instead, it's abused as a tool of oppression because these "pious" neanderthals can't handle their own sexuality. I have no problem with women wearing the hijab, as long as it's their choice, but let's be honest... Where there's a will, there's a way. Instead of ogling boobs, they're ogling ankles. If they can't see the ankles, they'll find something else. Why do you think so many Arabic love songs feature women's eyes? Partly because we've got sexy, sexy peepers, but also because men will sexualize whatever they possibly can, and there's nothing wrong with that! We're sexual creatures! But to infringe upon the freedom of others is what I find unacceptable.

Why do people always seek to externalize responsibility like this? It's actually possible to have an inner moral compass without blaming others for our own submissions to temptation. Really. It's not the chocolate's fault that I desire it. It's mine. I then have the choice to act on my impulse. Is the chocolate mine? Yes? Would taking it infringe on the rights of others? No? It's now a healthy contribution to my growing thighs and belly.

Sorry that this rant derailed at some point... I'm multi-tasking to an absolute extreme.

BBC NEWS | Wales | Text drive film to 'shock' pupils

It's so easy to get me choked up... But PSA's often get me because they're so real. This was horrifyingly real and I think all teenagers who drive or intend to drive should be made to watch it. And possibly get therapy afterwards...

more about "BBC NEWS | Wales | Text drive film to...", posted with vodpod

Sour Water Flavor EP

An old pen pal shared this with me on Facebook, and I thought it was charming. It's a perfect candidate to make the Internet rounds as it's very "now" what with the use of webcams and the web's ability to shrink this blue-green globe of ours.

I just wish I understood the lyrics...

Cookstr

Okay, so I guess I'm more easily influenced by advertising than I'd care to admit, but this one came from the lovely lips of Padma Lakshmi (I'm sorry, but refer to exhbit-freaking-A above), and I'm only human. Cookstr.com looks like a fun place to explore. My husband already made the chicken breasts stuffed with fresh figs and goat cheese which turned out lovely. He found the recipe when searching for anything that included two of our favorite ingredients: goat cheese and bacon. Yup, there's bacon involved. Feel free to omit that portion, my kosher and halal friends. It's still freaking amazing. Turkey bacon may provide the salty element, but I can't say if it would really work well.

I like that you can search by chef, too, though their catalog seems a little limited at the moment. I searched for some highly visible celebrity chefs, and not all of them came up.

I'll share updates on any recipes which turn out well. I keep wanting to add to the blog I share with Gila, Give Peas a Chance, but then I realized all the recipes I like to make are fattening as hell. Maybe I should change the criteria for the posts on the blog...

Failing to Fail.

I have some concerns about the direction that public education is currently taking. I suppose not all public schools are following this route, but I can speak of the experiences I am witnessing…

Kids with special needs have Individualized Education Plans (IEPs). IEPs document the strengths and weaknesses of each child who qualifies, with goals they need to aim for (academically and/or behaviorally) and what supports they need to accomplish those goals. In order to level the playing field, they are given supports above and beyond what the average kid can get in order to be just as successful. If they need two days to be able to do what everyone else can do in one, they get it. If they need someone to read the questions to them in order to understand them as well as their peers would, they get that.

So what happens when ALL kids are entitled to those supports too? Should ALL students have IEPs? If the definition of success is measured against every single child’s unique set of strengths/weaknesses/progress, what does a graduation from high school really mean? We are being asked to provide such supports for ALL kids and the implication is that it would be perfectly possible for a student who does not have a disability at all to graduate high school with the same set of skills and learning as a child who is mentally retarded.

This ties in nicely with giving students the mistaken impression that they may have second, third, fourth, fifth chances every time they behave inappropriately, never teaching them that sometimes life doesn’t give you a second chance for you to sit back and willfully fuck up the first time. It gets so bad that these kids think they’re having a whale of a time goofing off, knowing that they’ll have plenty of opportunities to do it again and again until the teacher is finally able to get them to pass, get it right, or behave appropriately. Even better, they might be taken under the wing of a kind hearted administrator or counselor and feel even more empowered to continue to “express themselves” and simply run back under that wing anytime any other adult takes them to task. And EVEN BETTER, they may be given rewards that well behaved students are not given the opportunity to experience because the naïve hope is that if you give gifts and prizes to the badly behaved child you’re bonding with them and going to somehow remedy a deeply ingrained persistent problem.

By all means, take into account individuality, but to eliminate basic standards of expectation is not an act of kindness and sympathy. It cheats the kids. It provides them with subpar educational experiences and robs them of the successful future they may have had if their violent behavior had NOT been treated lightly, had they been expected to show up on time and every day, had they been expected to learn to make fewer mistakes rather than wait for the next chance to roll around AGAIN.

I think all teachers need to watch The First 48 more often. Look where we are sending our kids to after graduation. They don’t have the skills or the etiquette to get the better jobs, they don’t have the self control to stay out of trouble, and they definitely don’t see the wrong in their actions because they were also taught and handled on their terms.

I dread the day I read the news and see the names of the ones who have “anger issues”. The ones who we had to tread lightly around for fear of setting them off, who were forgiven for their outbursts and their violence time and again because they were never expected to actually control their anger or were never given the medication they needed to be able to do so.

The key is to use knowledge of the kids to raise them up to some sort of predetermined standard set for all kids. They may reach it, they may not, but having a universal goal to work towards and measure them against isn’t evil. We must always bear their futures in mind, and not be so shortsighted as to simply worry about dragging their butts through the next few years of school.